The Pain Of Letting Go

A couple weeks ago, we returned our puppy, Stardust, to the Humane Society. It was one of the most painful things I've ever done. She is a sweet, loving dog. She is housebroken and doing very well with her training. However, she is a blend of three very strong breeds, all of which have strong instincts that require intensive, consistent training to control. I fought hard to keep her, 100% committed to her training, and I did not want to 'give up on her.' However, with puppies and kids, there needs to be commitment and consistency from everyone in the home - and that just wasn't there. And, having Fibromyalgia - and simply being Human - it was too much to do alone. And, in the meantime, we were putting our lives on hold - my niece, with whom I usually spend a lot of time, hasn't been to my house in over a month; my son hasn't been able to have friends over; family members have been nervous when they visit.

Intellectually, I get that it was the best thing to do. Emotionally, I hurt horribly. My 9-year-old son understands as well as a kid can, and he's hurting, too. I feel I let Star down, and I let my son down - and I let myself down. However, we have learned a lot from this experience - our lessons will help us in the future, should we decide to try again:

1. Select a dog that's right for your family, not just a dog you like. My husband likes big dogs. He says he'd absolutely love a Great Dane. Since I'd always preferred smaller dogs, he was pleased when we selected Star, a medium dog. However, when all is said and done, we came to the conclusion a small dog is a better fit for us. If you're considering getting a dog, it's important to take into account the time, exercise, and space needs of a dog. Be honest with yourself and each other about what you can - and want to - offer a dog. There are good online quizzes to help narrow down what kind of dog is best for you.

2. Breed does matter. Star is a mix of Border Collie, German Shepherd, and Pit Bull - these are all great breeds. Any dog is only as good as its owners, and there's no such thing as a 'bad breed.' We were a little worried about the Pit Bull part of her, as they've gotten a bad reputation - and all our research put any concerns about her to rest. We didn't even think about what it means to be a Border Collie & Shepherd. These are both herding breeds, and they are both 'mouthy.' Not knowing this, we worried when she started nipping at heels and hands. With strong, consistent training, these instincts can be managed - without that, they will jump, chase, and nip.

3. Sometimes you have to put your head over your heart - research, research, research. Talk to other dog owners. Read books. Research online. Talk to local trainers and pet supply store staff. Try to be fully informed and prepared before you go 'fall in love' with a puppy and take it home.